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"REALMS OF CLARITY & GROWTH"
"excerpts" of herself
By
Janice Faye 'Christi' Cole
Copyright 1993 by Janice Fay "Christi" Cole
All rights reserved. No part of this collection "Realms of Clarity & Growth" may be reproduced or transmittted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieveal system, without permission in writing from Janice Fay "Christi" Cole
DEDICATION
I give thanks to "The Infinite Spirit" for giving me
the perfect
Divine Life Plan which will always include my
Perfect parents
Mr. Essel L. Cole & Mrs. Venishie Conley-Cole
THE HUMAN SPIRIT - is conceptualized as an extreme perpetuating mankind's duality with nature itself, however to investigate this point of view renders infinite possibilities of what is the Father spirit. The Father and I are One, which is the popular statement transmitted throughout centuries of Human existence. It is benevolent and supreme understanding of this premise as the primary focal point of life as we experience it. We are the children, the offspring, of the Father (spirit) into the Mother (earth) thereby formulating the essence of life objectively. The sense of an almighty power orchestrating the moment to moment unfoldment of Being is mesmerizing and miraculous. There isn't any way of knowing that which is unknown and yet the Father spirit is felt in conjunction with the Mother most definitely.
We are of one spirit which encompasses both male and female qualities of Human Being. The Father/Mother Creator as a single integral essence of Being brings forth the spiritual manifestations of the living presence in 'All That Is' experienced here and now upon this sojourn.
When we think conceptionally via the use of precepts, concepts, languages, ideology, psychology, philosophy, religions, etc., and its various meanings and interpretations, the spirit is referenced unequivocally. The unification of the universal intents and purposes as demonstrated throughout life's continuum. The Great Spirit of life combines the masculine and feminine energies in the highest order for identification as exclaimed in the finite world of Human Beings. The Father spirit represents the God - head to the universal household, while the Mother spirit represents the Goddess - body constructing the foundation for the family to grow and prosper accordingly.
The responsibility of each entity is evident in the mastery of the life's unfoldment. The Father spirit is adventurous, exploratory and investigative to the unknown. The leader into the dimensions of expanding realities without fear or doubt that life is temporal, momentary, transient, ethereal and momentary. The Father spirit has developed immensely due to the inflective state of the Mother spirit. These component parts of the whole affirms the one circle of life constantly. The guiding light of the Father spirit projects strongly into the translucent darkness of our mind, body and soul. It is with absolute trust that we are compelled to rise to the heights of the utmost highest in creative expressions in the presence of 'The Father/Mother Spirit' within the realms of clarity and growth.
CONTENTS OF
"REALMS OF CLARITY AND GROWTH"
| POEMS | | PAGES
|
| Holding On | | 1
|
| For the First Time, We Were Loved | | 2
|
| Where Are We Now? | | 3
|
| Peace | | 4
|
| The Beginning | | 5
|
| Power... unlimited | | 6
|
| The Comfort | | 7
|
| Um Um Good... Yeah | | 8
|
| Intruder | | 9
|
| Passion | | 10
|
| Eternity | | 11
|
| Nature's Course | | 12
|
African Queens, Slaves Colored, Negro,
|
| Black, African American | | 13
|
| Given to Us With... Love | | 14
|
| You Created this Mess | | 15
|
| Turn My Music... Black On | | 16
|
| America | | 17
|
| Untitled | | 18
|
| A Game and Water Upon the Shore | | 19
|
| Leavin | | 20
|
| The Step to Vote | | 21
|
| Fighting Not to Go Down | | 22
|
| Well | | 23
|
| Untitled | | 24
|
| Yeah I Do... | | 25
|
| A Fool to A Clown | | 26
|
| Another Days Journey...Begins | | 27
|
| Reaching | | 28
|
| Untitled | | 29
|
| Untitled | | 30
|
| I Agree | | 31
|
| Parents | | 32
|
| Ain't Bad At All | | 33
|
| Time - Agin - Someday | | 34
|
| ...too, like the lake. | | 35
|
| Dazed | | 36
|
| Where Am I? | | 37
|
| Janice & Nitia@ Age 16 | | 38
|
| I Am Love | | 39
|
| Remembrance | | 40
|
| Me #1 | | 41
|
| Me #2 | | 42
|
| Be Thankful | | 43
|
| I Did This | | 44
|
| Smoke Tracks | | 45
|
| Untitled | | 46
|
| Plenty | | 47
|
| To - JJ (John S.) Cole | | 48
|
TOC
-1-
"Holding On"
Pushing it way back
Back so far that it doesn't touch me
I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell you
Face to face, How much I love you
How much it is taking for me to remain
Sane... and not be overwhelmed by the untamable, uncontrollable love...
Love???
Is there no other word that can describe how one feels
When they know
Who they are to share with, grow with, caress with, make love with always
And forever.
So with all that hurts, with all that makes me cry, with all that I don't understand,
all that makes me feel... out of control... I push back
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay Back
What should be
Happiness - Joy - Release
I feel I have to
I feel I have to... to survive
It's been almost two decades that
I've suppressed this - but now
It's like a volcano -
Nothing within the power of a human being can stop it from
Overflowing - coming out
All else that I'm pushing back
All else that I know can be made better... in time by me
I've tried to suppress - keep in prospective... is rising too
I pray to God that I'm able to fulfill all that is inside/outside
Before I die and before anyone else dies or becomes deathly ill
Mentally or Physically
I pray to God that so many I know of & that I don't know of who are family... friends...
Others be blessed with miracles of Joy, Happiness, Success and... Peace
I pray to God for all that I need to have that
Happiness... Joy... Release
I pray to God to help me to just let go and allow
Love...
Happiness...
Joy...
and Peace...
Into my life, my being, my soul... myself... from God
- This is Everlasting -
Just Love
Just Happiness
Just Peace
Just Success
Yes, I thank God.
TOC
-2-
"FOR THE FIRST TIME, WE WERE LOVED"
For the first time
We made love
Silhouettes of your body where shaped
By the cloudiness of the day
Outside our window
As we undressed...slowly...our eyes pierced through
Each other with a power to love...warmth...sweetness
We've never...ever known.
Me reaching for you and bringing you
Closer and closer...was like a part of me
I never knew was missing
You feel the same way too.
As I lay on my back...You pushed away
Just enough for my hands to
Wander from our shoulder to
Your breast to
Your waist to
Your...
You released yourself again into
My arms
You kissed me with passion...depth
We were finally one
One body
Oneself
For the first time,
We were loved!
TOC
-3-
WHERE ARE WE NOW?
Are we back in slave time where our pride and our dignity fought to end a physical imprisonment forced upon us?
Are we back when our parents parents parents were the Kings and Queens of the land of beauty and strength and love and support and peace and Power was our force?
Ae we battling within/without ourselves to pull forth the power of God in us one by one to have a union force be forthseen?
Are we reflecting from the many strange weird continual unnecessary burdens and obstacles put in our path by a scared cowardly, inferior poor confused mesh of stupendous souls blinded by thier own vagueness?
Are we pushing, rising bursting our of the shield crated by ignorance and unwarranted fear?
Are our children fighting to end this in a dress with a madder madness that can stand no more? Can stand no more.
NO MORE CAN WE STAND, WILL WE STAND.
We will fight.
The battlefield has been set by you.
The weapons created by you.
The conditions written by you.
The length of bloodshed timed by you.
Your end stamped out by you.
Our parents parents parents parents
are with us now.
We will not be stopped ever.
We are a powerful force, smart force...we understand.
We are where we are now on solid ground with hands to our side...hands holding one another...moving, clearing, cleaning up...
The mess you've spread all over Gods' earth
Trying to eliminate for your soul existence
Blind you were
You are eliminated - Goodbye
We are here free, powerful, everlasting
Thank God
Thank you God.
TOC
-4-
PEACE
While the wind keeps on coming,
I lay my head against the firm and steady rock.
The feeling is so satisfying,
Because I know everything will be alright.
I know this now more than ever.
Thank God.
TOC
-5-
"THE BEGINNING"
We are not people of bloodshed
We are the blood that runs through every living human being
We are the beginning
Our women is the mother of the earth
We are warm, passionate, patient, embracing
We are creative, flexible, enduring.
TOC
-6-
"POWER...UNLIMITED"
Our souls are connected
There's no way we can say we made it alone
Our souls are connected to the bodies, minds, spirits, blood of
those that laid the Red carpet for us to walk head-up - eyes
forward - minds free...today.
Our souls are connected
No way do we dare spit in there faces by claiming we are lost
and divided.
Our souls are connected
Dear God...Dear God
We are connected.
We are not alone
Winging it by ourselves
No one person can take claim to the greatness we posses
Our souls are connected.
Give homage to those that came before us
That are here now
That are coming
Laughing, singling, screaming, dancing, speaking, learning,
teaching, giving, crying, serving, caring, loving
We are not alone
OUR SOULS ARE.....CONNECTED....CONNECTED
CON NECT ED
SOULS...
TOC
-7-
"The Comfort"
We sometimes miss... the boat
Even though its' anchored at harbor
We run around looking hard, searching extensively
For a different color or a more soothing smell
Or a bowl of red, juicy, fresh strawberries
Limiting our existence only to what
We think we see
We think we need
We think exists
We miss the boat...sometimes.
It goes out to sea and faithfully returns
For our boarding
We however...moved to another dock
We missed the boat...again..
Sometimes...
We relax, dream, trust, meditate
Eyes closed
Heart and mind one
Open eyes.
This time quicker than we can bat an eye
It's there in front of us...the ...for us
Release!
Thoughts?
It was here all... the ...time.
So sometimes we do miss the boat
But like a trusting and loving friend
It will always be there.
TOC
-8-
"UM UM GOOD...YEAH"
Ripples of Love continuing...flowing
All over
Excited, full, convicted, resolve
Peachy...Peachy...Peachy.
TOC
-9-
INTRUDER
Noone asked you to be here
NOONE
You snuck behind the closed doors
In the homes, in the hospital, on the streets...damn EVERYWHERE
Peaking through the keyholes of life
The privacy and the trust you dismantled
Your smell however, was ... always sweet.. and alluring
Not many guys would I choose to be with
Not many at all
He would have been a choice
He was funny, quick, tender, insecure
All this I know from only having watched him from a distance
over the years
K owing more will be...
IMPOSSIBLE
Thanks to your intrusion.
Maybe you were planted to appease sick minds and souls who
think that genocide is the answer for continuing to suppress,
oppress, abuse, misuse use...covering their fears they created...
forcing you to acknowledge how miniscule and unimportant...
and now despised they really are
YOU CAN'T KILL US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can no longer see him dance
He danced so beautifully
Roscoe
Noone asked for your assistance
in catapulting an end to the future
Noone gave way for your nibbling
But.. as if the red carpet had been rolled out
You came and took the show
However you came... just go away
I can never see him again.........................
Maybe someone plaanted a seed
A seed of Death - Your harvest is any season
Anytime day or night
maybe you are someones' idea of a joke
A ral BAD joke
You've done enough
I can no longer see him
As you grow ...death becomes a welcome friend.
TOC
-10-
"Passion"
VELVET SMOOTH...
AND PROBABLY JUICY SWEET,
LIKE A FRUIT MOST OF US LONG FOR.
IMPULSE OF A FEELING MAYBE,
CONSCIOUSLY HIDDEN BEHIND WALLS...
OF MASSIVE PASSION...
WHY?
TOC
-11-
"ETERNITY"
how goes the wind today?
has the direction chaged?
what may the course be today?
will it be a steady breeze
will it be like a hurricane,
like a tornado
like a moist, dry, humid mold of air?
how goies the wind today?
yesterday there was trubulence.
it was hared to break through.
not that it was foggy or thick.
Just... that it's direction changed constantly.
TOC
-12-
"Nature's Course"
Like the river that flows deep through the canyon,
So does the beat of my heart for you.
I'm sure I will soon burst to tell you what's on my mind.
Like the sun that rises above the mountain,
Do does my eyes peek to see if your are real,
I'm sure you are.
Like stones that have been pushed and rolled beneath the lakes current
And have risen to the surface round, beautiful pebbles,
So has time allowed me to see your beauty through many a rough wave,
Am I sure?
Like the cool of the morning,
I feel you are a part of me.
TOC
-13-
"AFRICAN QUEENS, SLAVES, COLORED, NEGRO, BLACK, AFRICAN AMERICAN"
Dark and Mysterious
Warm and Sweet.
TOC
-14-
"Given to us with...love"
Pressure eats up time,
Eats up energy,
Eats up strength,
Eats up thoughts,
Eats away life.
This world, our world God gave us,
was not created with pressure.
God made this world with love.
Created this world with love.
This love is life.
Man's lack of thankfulness,
Man's forgetfulness,
man's ambitious ambition,
Man's selfishness,
man's stupidity created pressure.
As long as you don't allow yourself to help yourself,
As long as your dependency on others are maximum and not
minimum,
As long as each day comes and goes and we forget to be thankful for
something,
Pressure becomes your reality and your life.
Love is life.
Love is knowing yourself,
Knowing yourself is believing in yourself,
Believing in yourself is understanding,
Understanding is self confidence,
Self confidence is sharing,
Sharing is broadening your horizon,
Your horizon is God's creation.
TOC
-15-
"You Created This Mess"
Don't act as if that young black man with the ski cap on (black), over sized Nike shoes (unlaced), oversized pants (hanging cross the behind), with The Dipped Walk, has done something so unspeakable, so horrible, so............, that you feel you have to cross a six-lane highway to not be near him cause he may just reach out and ring your neck, yet crossing you perhaps, again, you cause unnecessary harm and danger to others cause you are misguided...fool.
Realize what yo think you're running from you created.
Waiting at a bus stop after a restless night of coughing tossing and turning, should be in the house, rather in bed, at least one more day, I stumble onto the bus and head straight for the back, not because I have to (thanks to many who's courage died and fought for this obvious right), but because I want to, to be out of the way, too many people, don't like crowds, can't stand crowds..., So I sit behind you and very politely, cautiously cover my mouth, while I neeze (huh chuh). You jump up like I just took my hand and slapped the back of your head.... and knowing that you deserve it you simply rush forward to get out of the way for fear of another one coming....You don't even look back...I pause in the midst of my next (huh chuh) and look at you as if you are a fool.... a big fool. I know that even if I did not (huh chuh), still like Speedy Gonzles you'd be in the drivers seat. So...it twas not my (huh chuh) that blew you way it is this awful mess you created... you created and dare not claim as you've claimed so much that wasn't yours a at all.
It took you a lotta energy, years to do what you've done... and hell yes I'd be pissed to see all my hard work blown to pieces because... because you can't control love, nature...your children think you are mad when you tell them ever so nice that "They" are not like us...! Schools striking down, debating, deeply questions the integrity, the truth of these books, these lessons that have been pushed on so many for years... and in their questioning you are frightened for they may learn that theses profound, glorious, historical... things to remember and be proud of are all- simply put- LIES. What we should have understood from theses teachings is that you are one helluva... exterminator. You say you left an area because you were not treated right...because you wanted our independence.
...Only you came to this land and practically mass murdered nations of natives...Native Americans (the true blood of the land)...just tried to wipe them out... like they never existed...your independence... your freedom...mind you... your foundation. In the midst of this great heroic, historic gesture, you travel to another continent and lure/steal people to yourself (the new found freedom land), only to capture tie down, break down to make into your Slaves... you rip apart families... sell them by piece mill... rape the women...lame the men...again for...your independence...your freedom... mind you ... Your Foundation. This is the mess you've created.
For decades, centuries We were a thing and the Natives were happy because they had there treaties.
Look at the mess you created.
Oh but now, lets say that the shit has hit the fan. You try to remain composed. But you're scared... You little shit... You a scared mother. you scared... but not ashamed.
Not ashamed.
If you could do it all over again... you would... You rally would...only this time you'd you probably kill... kill ... kill... and our rivers would reflect the melting pot of America.
So that young man walking down the road you crossed a six lane highway to get away from is perhaps a nightmare. Not because of anything...anything they've done...contra... They're good people with free spirits...What you run from is
THE MESS YOU CREATED,
What you run from is fear... No need to worry...The young man nor the lady, not the natives, nor the slaves will have to do nothing... The laws of nature and of love is cleaning up the mess YOU made.
TOC
-16-
"Turn my music...back on"
Someone, something cut off my music.
Just when I was getting the beat.
I was into the rhythm, the bat, the sound.
Then all of a sudden it was gone.
And I was lost.
Someone, something cut off my understanding,
My understanding of myself, what i am all about.
Something I've been searching for for years.
Someone, something cut off the music too soon,
And I can't seem to find where I was,
When I was myself.
Just left me in oblivion,
Quiet no sound.
Helpless, hopeless, alone.
Right smack dab in oblivion.
TURN MY MUSIC BACK ON.
So I can find my beat again.
So I can see my way through all this fog, this darkness.
So I can understand, command, demand what's mine.
I don't want nobody else's.
I just want mine.
TOC
-17-
"America"
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..."
America you're coming apart at the seams.
And I thought you were a tight fit.
I thought you were strong and sturdy.
But America you're coming apart at the seams.
Don't you see, Don't you know those other folk are coming in taking
over because you've burst the seat of your pants.
It's funny America.
You're worried about not getting involved in a war.
But I don't think you know you are already at war,
Amongst yourselves.
I knew you were not perfect
I knew you had problems
I hoped in time you would get it together,
Since time heals all wounds.
But America, you're falling apart at the seams.
In "Hamlet" Shakespeare says, "Be true to yourself"
Be true to yourself America.
We're headed towards the same destiny of Rome.
But we don't have to America.
Let's mend our clothes,
Sew up those bursting seams.
Bring back the understanding and concern for our country.
Bring back the goal we were headed for,
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Bring back the helping hand for each and every woman, man and child.
"And to the republic for which it stands,
One nation, under God indivisible with,
liberty and justice for all".
TOC
-18-
"Untitled"
The death of a soldier is the death of many lives.
For in the hearts of his love ones are many dead pieces.
Enough pieces to create the picture over and over agian of the soldier
killed in action.
It won't be the bloody, broken worn and wooded body that lay still in
the marsh.
It won't display the terror and scream of his heart.
It will not display the many soldiers having to grab him quickly while
ducking and dodging to save their lives.
No it won't be this tragic and sad of a memory.
It will be the last kiss, the last hug.
That last forced smile, the last hand waving.
This pretty picture painted in the memory of his loved one is the one
That will able them to live althogh each day a part of them dies.
TOC
-19-
"A Game and Water Upon the Shore"
Plop, plop... plop... plop
Miles and miles away
Can't see the end
Can't see where it begins
But I hear it coming
Strong Powerful... then easy
Plop plop... plop, plop ... plop, plop
Dash running, then silence
The smell was fresh and clean
Plop plop, ... plop plop
They really got it going now
Made beautiful sounds with what I se,
With what I hear
Oh God, it's so peaceful
You knew this is what I needed
What I wanted
So beautiful
What you've done is so ... beautiful
Plop plop
Left to right.
I thank you for this glory
Plop, plop ...plop, plop ... plop, plop...
plop, plop, plop ... plop plop ... plop ... plop, plop...
TOC
-20-
"Leavin'"
I'm splittin this scene,
Ain't leavin no green,
Gon' be mean,
While leavin this scene,
I told you times before,
I was gon' leav,
I can't take no mo' this mess,
There's too much in this world to see,
Too much to do,
And I know I can't get nothin done,
If I stay roun' here.
So I'm leavin sugar,
Cuttin loose and fancy free,
Something my mother would say,
She'd say, "Honey, I'm cuttin loose and fancy free".
(laughing then gradual change)
Ain't no sense in you tryin after all this time,
To be the person I thought you were five years ago,
Fool I was,
Ain't no sense.
I'm leavin.
(spells it out) LEAVIN.
(angered)
I know that ain't correct,
But anyway YOU spell it, it's gon' come out,
I'm gon',
Goodbye
Sayanara,
And Adios. (laughing)
(angered again)
And that's another thing.
You always have to be correctin' me.
Ain't you learned by now,
I'm me,
And that's the way it's gon' be.
So, me is leavin now.
(laughing)
I tell you hon'
It's been fun,
Yeah it's been fun.
But, I guess I'm tired of fun.
Now I want Mo'
Yeah it's time for mo'.
So, I'm leavin hon'.
I'm splittin this scene.
Bye!!!
TOC
-21-
"The Step to Vote"
Because of you I'll vote
I'll vote my opinion for the first time this way
I agree that there is a good possibility I can change things
I agree there are too many sitting waiting for something only we can make happen
So because of you I'll vote
I'll make a change
I'll make a change in me if not this political syndrome... right now.
I'll make that step to register
Yes I'll go to the polls and pull the lever
Yes I'll go because of you
You were right to have traveled so far to demonstrate
You were justified in other moves made to make things better.
You made good sense when you incinerated I was being lazy
You were right in being one of the first to change things
So, because of you I'll vote
The things you protest or demonstrate against are not selfish
The things you protest or demonstrate against need to be changed
The results you want will help everyone, all mankind
So don't stop my dear.
Your perception and objection is right
Hence I will vote... because...
TOC
-22-
"FIGHTING NOT TO GO DOWN"
Early one Sunday morning, I woke up.
My eyes directed toward the ceiling.
My body drenched, rose quickly,
And there I set on the edge of the bed.
Early one Sunday morning, I put on my trench coat,
Over my drenched sleepware and went for a walk.
I walked and walked till I came to the river.
I was restless, tired, confused, trembling,
Yet I was unaware of my...self.
Early one Sunday morning standing by the river,
I begin to feel as if a weight of something heavy was pressuring me down.
to ease the tension I quickly shook myself, bent over picked up a pebble,
And threw it in the river.
The pebble made several skips on the water before going down.
It was as if it was fighting not to go down.
Fighting not to go down.
Fighting not to go down.
Fighting not to go down.
Early one Sunday morning I was FIGHTING NOT TO GO DOWN!!!
TOC
-23-
"WELL"
Peace be still
Until the night is done
Never think that sleeping willows only lean or only sleep
God would not have been so limited
Peace be still
I am at home again
Starting anew
Peace...Silent...Still
BE
TOC
-24-
"Untitled"
Like a swinging door
I'm loved
People pass through my life swinging my heart,
Back and forth
My heart's never still long enough for the blood to flow smoothly
It tries to keep up with the swing of the swinger
Back and forth
Back and forth
It'll collapse one of theses days
I know it will
(Idea!!!!)
Not if I change the hinges
And make it just a regular door
That opens and closes
And this time God Almighty and me
Will be in control.
TOC
-25-
"Yeah I do...."
Uh huh,
I do,
I really do,
Think about cha.
I think about cha all the time.
I do,
Yeah I do.
I think about cha on a beautiful sunny day,
A beautiful cool sunshinin day.
And you know, we've had a lot of those kinda days.
Yes we have.
We really have.
Oh yeah,
The other day I was walking along and I saw someone who
looked
like
you.
I did
I really did.
And you know, that day the sun was shinin.
It was,
Yes it was.
Yeah I really do think about cha.
I think about cha when I pass flow'er shops.
And see those beautiful mums, daises, and whatcha call'em...roses.
YEAH ROSES... white yellow and red.
And you know there's many a flow'er shops on these here streets.
So I do,
Yeah I do...
Think about cha.
TOC
-26-
"A Fool to A Clown"
"You" put on a show.
And make people laugh.
You make them scream and shout
You bring joy into their lives
You make them remember to smile
When they think of you.
And you even make them cry.
"I" put on a show too
I make them scream and shout
I bring joy into their lives
I even make them remember to smile
When they think of me
But I'm the only one that cries
That's why I'm the fool
and You...you are the clown.
TOC
-27-
"Another Days Journey...begins"
Stones that have been pushed and rolled beneath the lake's current,
Stones that because of their journey have risen to the surface, round, beautiful pebbles.
A river flowing through a canyon.
A winding River flowing, whistling, swerving through a deep,
beautiful, rocky, golden canyon heading to a vast lake and yet still to a gigantic ocean.
A Sun rising slowly above a mountain.
A Sun seemingly to peek, stare, rising warm, full, light and bright.
The Sun seemingly falls slowly behind a mountain.
Goodbye for now. Goodnight.
Dark... Another Days Journey...ended
Begins...
Stones that have been pushed and rolled beneath the lake's current.
Stones that because of their journey have risen to the surface, round...
TOC
-28-
"Reaching"
Reaching for the sky are you?
Don't worry you'll make it.
Reaching for the love are you?
Don't worry I'm here.
Reaching for the beauty are you?
Don't worry you've got it.
Reaching for the self-appreciation are you?
Don't worry - relax, smile and there it is.
Reaching to be heard are you?
Speak and people will hear.
Just remember to speak.
TOC
-29-
"Untitled"
Oooooooooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I want to hold you
I want to hold you baby.
Squeeze you tight.
Squeeze you with all my power.
Baby, Baby, Baby - baby.
You are so beautiful
Listen you won't have to do anything
Not one thing
Just stand there and feel my energy radiate through you.
Just stand there and listen to my silent speech talk to you.
Just stand there with our good - looking, fine self.
Just stand there baby.
Just stand there.
Oooooooooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I want to hold you.
Hold you, Hold you, Hold you
I.................want to .....Hollllllllllllllllllld... you baby.
TOC
-30-
"Untitled"
Show me A to Z
Show me what I'm to see
Show me A to Z
Show me the way
When I know the way I am to go
Then I'll show you a more beautiful road,
That you've been traveling.
TOC
-31-
"I Agree"
More and More,
Little by little,
Slowly but slowly
We learn
We learn... a lot, by wanting to learn
Wanting... to learn a lot.
Talking, thinking, listening, understanding
Yes we learn... al lot.
More and More
Little by little
Slowly but surely
We learn
How to
When to
Where to
and why
We learn mostly what we will and no more
Your desire determines the amount of learning you engulf.
Slowly but slowly
Little by little
More and more
We'll learn.
TOC
-32-
"Parents"
Some quiet
Some noisy
Some twitchy
Some bright
Some slow
Some still
Some hyper
Some just don't want to be here
Little ones - Auditioning
Oh they're all cute
Real cute
Cute, Cute, Cute, little darlings
Little sweet things
....It's the parents,
The parents,
Theatre parents
That make what could be the best group of theatre auditions
A fiasco, a riot, a mess.
They are all honesty in what they do
They all try hard as they can
they all are so kind
They all want the part and will cut your throat to get it
...............the Parents ...I mean.
TOC
-33-
"Ain't Bad at All"
Look at me.
Look at me!
What do you see?
What do you see?
A Black girl - you love.
Look at me!
Look at me good.
What do you see?
Tell me what you see?
A Dark girl - different and unique.
Now, look again.
Please, one more time.
Now tell me,
What's on your mind?
"She ain't bad, she ain't bad at all."
TOC
-34-
"TIME - AGAIN - SOMEDAY"
There's a time for hate.
A time for love.
A time to leave.
A time to stay.
A time for us,
Again.
Someday.
TOC
-35-
"....too, like the lake."
You know, I like the way your lips barely part as you talk.
You have this permanent smile with those sparkling lips of ours.
And when I look into our eyes, I see softness, kindness and so many
Things i've longed to see.
And when you talk to me you are honest with me
You tell me of your heritage, your roots and don't leave out a thing
When we sit by the big beautiful lake,
I look out love it.
I know the lake because I've studied it.
I know it's depth, it's width, the islands on the lake, the mountains
and the kinds of fish living in the lake.
All I say about the lake is that it is...beautiful.
Then when I look to my right and to my right is where you are sitting.
I say to myself, you are beautiful but,
I don't know the depth of your heart,
I couldn't begin to guess the width of your mind.
I don't know our outter, let alone your inner being but,
I still say you are...beautiful.
Then I look back at the lake and say
I know your beauty and unconsciously find myself looking at you saying with out effort,
"What Beauty."
Then I quickly look at the vast lake before you turn towards me and
Begin to stare at its' beauty again but,
Once more I turn to you and say,
"You are beautiful ...to, like the lake."
TOC
-36-
"Dazed"
It's O.K., It's alright, you say,
With a smile.
A smile
Brought warmth all over,
And Somehow,
This beautiful day,
God gave us,
Became more...
Beautiful.
Have a nice vacation you say.
I am speechless.
You
Have
Somehow hypnotized
Me
So
I walk away
Thinking of you... forever.
Thinking... I'm glad I meet her.
Thinking... I'm for once, I'm feeling good.
Thinking... Am I dreaming
Thinking... What a beautiful day
Thinking... I love God for all things
That come about.
Thinking... cause everything that happens,
happens for a reason, a purpose.
Thinking... I love you
Thinking... I love you
Thinking... I love you
I love you.
"Where Am I?"
I wish it were night!
Then I wouldn't see the full view of the trees and the grass and even
peoples faces.
At night I'm aware that the trees and the grass and the people do exist
and even the horses.
But at night it's so peaceful
At night I get to see the lights of the cities
And I get to see the light of the vehicles against the dark.
The one thing I would miss during the night is the big blue sky with
its' huge white clouds of different shapes.
But, instead of that - at night I get to see the moon with it's sparkling
stars that glisten on the rivers I see.
Yeah, I wish it were night
Everything is so much more sweeter, easier, peaceful and bright and
you really don't notice your pace as much.
PS: Riding a bus cross country during the day.
TOC
-38-
"Janice & Nitia @ age 16"
J This is gone be fun.
N It better be.
J Just wait and see, Just wait and see.
N I'm waiting.
J This is gone be so much fun.
N Yeah I can tell now.
J Come on, Come on, Just wait and see, Just wait.
N I'm waiting!
J Can't you see it coming?
N Where?
J Look way over yonder.
N Huh?
J Way over yonder.
N What?
J Way way over there. You can't see it coming?
N Well...?
J I know You do, you've got too.
N I guess I can ..sorta.
J Sorta... sorta...Look!
N I'm looking, I'm looking!
J This is gone be fun!!!!
TOC
-39-
"I am Love" (to Barbara in New York)
I gather you are a romanticist,
And I tell you, I like that about you.
Yo want to hear love stories, wild dreams,
And well, just plain ole things that soothes the heart and knocks you
off you feet.
I do too.
I think the only difference in your romanticizing and mine is that I
don't want to hear the words, I want to do the words.
I want to take you to a beautiful part of the country where there are
mountains, rivers and blue sky. And the air is fresh and clear and
everything is natural and pure.
You and I are standing on a mountain, you see, with soft wind
blowing, with me holding you while we're looking out over this part
of God's creation, that man has not yet destroyed, but has had the sense
to preserve.
And while holding yo I will give you a log passionate kiss with the
wind blowing softly.
Then we'll go to our cabin where the fireplace is...
And I will make love to you all night.. all night.
And hearing your response and the soft crackling of the wood burning
in the fireplace beautifully supporting each others rhythm is like music
never written before....................
When we return to the hustle and bustle of the city,
I still want to spend time with you.
I want to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on.
When you need someone to confide in.
When you're happy as well as sad.
I want to share my happiness with you.
I want often to tell yo how beautiful you are.
How much you turn me on.
And that I love you very much
I want to help you accomplish goals yo have set for yourself.
I want to build a beautiful home I've designed already and share it with
you.
I want you to want me.
When all that happens all our romanticizing and fantasizing will evolve.
You see my main philosophy is "action" speaks louder than words.
TOC
-40-
"Rememberance"
You must remember this
A knock at your door, someone -
Asking if you were in, you -
Came out of the other room with -
Your chemical stained pants on -
The smile that was on your face -
When you sw who it was.
You can't forget this
Walking downtown looking for the place where they make good steaks
You were determined to find this place and well... I'm glad we did.
And well the rest is history... the many things that came afterwards -
Don't let your mind stand stagnant....
Let it blossom with all events.
TOC
-41-
"ME #1"
Wanting you very much
Needing you
Caring about and for you
Praying for us
This is my everyday life
This is me.
TOC
-42-
"ME #2"
Lost now,
But destined to find myself
Desperate now,
But a divine hope will change that.
TOC
-43-
"Be Thankful"
When you love someone
Really love someone
You take them the way they are
And be thankful.
When you got something good
Know you have something good
Acknowledge the good
Don't change it
Be thankful.
TOC
-44-
"I did this"
I went in the restroom and turned on the faucet
So noone could hear me crying
In my mind I called out for your help.
I just wanted you to hold me
I just wanted you to be with...
I just wanted you
Yo don't know how I feel
You don't even care
But still I wanted you
I put my head in my arms
And all I could feel was soft tear drops on my thighs
I did this.
TOC
-45-
"Smoke Tracks"
To hold you in my arms
Means to hold all my hopes, dreams, desires - all
I've ever wanted.
To hold you in my arms now
Means the same - but now with a little additive sadness because
I know after our moment of embrace we will part but -
With only me cherishing that moment because
You don't share with this cat anymore.
TOC
-46-
"Untitled"
I think she's cute but, I don't know how to say I think so. She smiles at me and I melt. I talk to her and sound like a fool. I want to make this feeling be love. It probably is but, I know I'm not in love with her. I guess I just want to say let's spend some time with each other and hope she'll love just being with me. If that is alright then let's keep doing it. Maybe we'll kiss passionately.
I think she's cute and I want to get to know her better and I want her to know me better. I don't want to bring up o elaborate on anything negative. Just want to go out and have a good time. Please don't let me make me a fool of myself. I'm not a fool. Please let me be happy. Please.
TOC
-47-
"Plenty"
Not all songs can a person sing
Not all music can a person write
Not all books, plays, films, scripts can be written
So there is room
There is room
For ME.
TOC
-48-
TO - J.J. (John S.) Cole
I love you - not what you do or what you think you should be
.... in Life
You never have to do anything
Except be yourself...
You have nothing to prove to me... because
To me you have always been ...
Perfect.
All that has happened,
Did not happen to you.
It happened in yor life.
You are...
Still
Perfect...and
always have been perfect
Brother. Therefore...
If since you are perfect and the things that have happened
Happened in life
Then
The ability for YOU
To Create
Perfect... Love...Health...Wealth...and Self-Expression is,
Still here, within YOU and... in fact,
Ready for YOUR asking.
My ears are for your listening,
To whatever you may want to say.
They do not alwys have to hear the joys of our heart,
They are capable of hearing ANYTHING....
I will help ou Sir
Through thick and thin becaud I
Love You - Not becaue you are my
brother.
You see I know you
I know YOU
I understand you VERY Well
I've had the Blessing to watch yo grow
INTO
The most Handsome Human Being I have ever known,
That's why I LOVE YOU.
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